Bitcoin hit 80,000. So What Now?

Yeah. This is a short one. I posted about Bitcoin as it gained momentum and hit $80,000 as of August 27, 2026. Also, Trump signed the order to rename Lake Ontario to Lake America amid the latest trade war, but I digress. Back to the story.

Bitcoin is back, and so are bitcoin bros. They usually disappear to lick their wounds when bitcoin is down, but over the last month, the bros are up +19.12%. That’s amazing. While I may be a jerk, I’m happy to see other investors make money since it sucks to be on the losing end. However, I did note that year-to-date, bitcoin is down 7.65% ($87,412.91 | January 1, 2026). It’s worth noting that it was as high as $96,151.22 on January 15. Most bitcoin owners are clawing their way back from the abyss while the S&P 500 is up +12% and Nasdaq +14% [year-to-date].

A lot of this is just noise because, to be clear, most bitcoin owners don’t even have that much to begin with.

The Average Bitcoin Owner

The average American crypto investor holds an estimated balance of around $1,000, while the typical median balance is much lower at about $190. More specifically, the average Bitcoin wallet or address holds a very small amount—typically less than 0.1 BTC. Turns out the bitcoin bros don’t have it.

So, what happened today? Well, I posted about it and ran into a bitcoin bro. It never fails.

The profile is as prescribed: pretend to look fancy, look like you are making deals, flaunt some vacation, and voila. The person in question took offense. He is a black male who looks to be in his early 30s or late 20s. I didn’t know or care enough to research this since it’s the typical look. I call it aspirational lifestyle peddling. His response to my post was to “Expand it”.

He means he wants me to share the meteoric rise of Bitcoin from the beginning, which contextually makes sense. For context, Bitcoin is up 17,528.55% since May 6, 2016. This factoid is only useful if you bought into Bitcoin from the outset.

He was looking for that “Aha!” moment. Truly fascinating stuff; I could do the same for the S&P 500, but let’s indulge for educational purposes only.

I responded, “Facts.” It’s urban, short, and sweet. By the way, always disarm a future problem with a statement of agreement. It’s hit-or-miss, but it’s worth a shot. This also serves to acknowledge that I understood what he meant and to ask how much bitcoin he owns. By my estimate, this stopped him in his tracks. The response would be revealing.

[Between us, I was taught how to interrogate by a Marine recon scout guy for a week. A good question gets you one answer; a great question opens up multiple answers. The best question forces a respondent to think carefully, which leads to multiple conclusions. Most people who advance against me don’t know this, but you should never advance against a Marine. Your best bet is to hold still. Besides, it’s typically a trap.]

The random social media bro likely blinked twice, since generally no one ever asks about how much crypto he has. He responded, “Enough.” It was a bold cloak-and-dagger, super mysterious response. He went on to add that he cannot simply divulge this online. Then he offered to go on Zoom and show me. A bit sus, as the kid says, but by that time, I was good.

Not sure why the trenchcoat stuff? Maybe he is a secret agent, but let’s be honest, he doesn’t have that much Bitcoin. Most never do. I went on to decline his offer to share screenshots and screens since my portfolio is already online. Coincidentally, I’m the one with the actual clearance, but again, I digress.

Unsurprisingly, the Bitcoin bro got mad and proceeded with obscenities (a classic social media escalation). He really didn’t like the question at all. It was a cornerstone of his personality for some reason. After that, he went on a tirade to defend his wealth to the death. A bit extreme, but it’s par for the course.

That’s pretty much the story about Bitcoin Bros

By now, the character profile tracks. A couple of long paragraphs, some emojis, and a bit more personal attack. He was offended and might initiate a duel between gentlemen. However, I would decline. Was it cowardice? Nope.

Then, Why? Because I didn’t care. And this is low stakes for me. I don’t even own any cryptocurrency. Most social media engagement is very low stakes, by the way. I’m a horrible debater.

As an auditor, I have a fair degree of discernment via what people say, what they don’t say, and how they react. Wealthy people don’t dissolve into obscenities in the span of 10 minutes or less. This is a caricature of an aspirational wealthy person. He plays pretend with wealth because it’s easy to dress up with access to credit card debt. He did go on about having money and something.

Additionally, he instructed me to go to the gym to work on my six-pack. The last part I found a bit odd to tell another man, but he was very adamant about it. I reminded myself that it’s 2026; “Love is love.”

It’s not my thing, but I can respect it. I might be in the minority, but when I go to the beaches (in Brazil), I’m not there to check out other men, and I’m married. My eyes stay locked on the beach, obviously. Also, I miss Brazil.

So why share this story?

Simply, people are not right in the head right now.

There are a lot of sociopaths, grifters, scammers, liars, and extremely desperate people out here. Just heard about an influencer who pretended to be in college for two years as a PA. The recent passing of the Cambridge professor who said he ran 30 marathons in 30 days. Yep, people want you to believe a certain version of their reality. While I’m not blaming Meta and charging them $18 billion, social media has done a number on this generation. Apple and Samsung are not off the hook since these photos are telling filtered multiverse stories.

For the record, wealthy and grounded people don’t have anything to prove to anyone. They don’t bicker and don’t harp on six-packs. Being healthy and wealthy is great, but there is something to be said about the psychological well-being of a lot of people in society.

Please talk to your friends (about serious stuff).

Try not to make every interaction transactional, i.e., going to brunch and such. It’s ok to hang out with your friends and do nothing (in peace). Reading books and other hobbies can help. There are a lot of people struggling silently through unemployment. The influencer recession is also upon us. Being present and in the moment can also be valuable. I, for one, think some of the richest people I know are those who can make an amazing café con leche. One day, I’ll make a mean cup of coffee that’s so damn balanced with no six-pack.

Finally, I know I’ve been slacking on posts lately. Between the gym (which I attend), audiobooks, and 9-5 work stuff, I’ve been busier than usual. We are speed-blitzing 2026 and running into loads of family challenges and such.

Happily, my wife and I are in a great place. Simply, it’s the external stuff with our social groups that we are working through. Being a friend means being a friend and helping when and where we can. This decade is going to be rough, filled with dearly departed celebrities and family. Highly recommend that you make peace where possible and show love often.

Also, this is just an excuse for me to write something since it’s been a while.

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