Trauma Bonding and the Importance of Therapy

In the wake of a myriad of shootings in the US, it’s ok to allow people to grieve in their own way. Sometimes that grieving is messy. Unfortunately, there are times that the grieving leads to trauma stacking and ultimately trauma bonding.

The latter is not good for society or ourselves.

In this episode of the Financial Griot podcast, we discuss the need for real therapy with the goal that you end up doing the necessary shadow work.

Your psyche can definitely keep you away from building wealth.

Here’s how to tackle your issues vs Trauma Bonding. 

Trauma Bonding on Social Media

One minute things are good, and then the next, they’re not,” psychotherapist Jourdan Travers, LCSW. That’s one of the signs.

But what is a trauma-bonding relationship?

Prescriptively, a trauma bond is a psychological response that happens when an abused person develops an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. Trauma bonds can occur in any situation where one person is exploiting another and are not limited to romantic relationships.

In practice, trauma bonding looks like a compulsive cycle of wanting to please your partner to avoid setting them off, followed by an incident of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, and then a honeymoon period where all seems well.

Relationship coaches, Julie Nguyen and Dr. Kristina Hallet shared “how to spot trauma bonding and the abusive relationship dynamic.”

Trauma in a group

In order to address trauma bonding, the survivor needs to seek a certified therapist who understands the complexity of trauma responses and can provide a safe, nonjudgmental, and compassionate environment in which the provider can explore their ongoing emotional attachment with their abuser.

Addressing trauma in a group often reinforces it and doesn’t provide adequate tools for forward movement. Although not without its own pros, group (self) therapy can lead to social loafing. This is when individuals in groups do not actually make changes but simply ride on the success of others.

Groups may allow unmotivated individuals to hide their real issues and avoid accountability. Thus stagnating real change and leading to an addiction to the identity of a victim.

According to the American Addiction Centers, individual therapy offers several advantages, including:

• Confidentiality. The information shared during sessions remains completely private.
• One-on-one attention. This allows the therapist to be thorough in understanding the individual’s specific problems and develop an individualized approach to treatment. This leads to a comprehensive analysis and treatment.
• A strong therapeutic alliance, refers to the working relationship between the individual and therapist.
• The development of self-awareness, which comes by discussing issues and getting feedback from the therapist, and
• An effective component in treating a broad range of mental health disorders.

How to Break the Cycle

Trauma bonds may create a cycle of highs and lows, but they are universally problematic. Trauma bonds should always be avoided and ended whenever possible to preserve your own health and happiness.

Here are several steps you can take to break off a trauma bond and begin to heal:

1. Reach out to a professional,
2. Understand what you’re dealing with,
3. Talk with loved ones and reengage with your circle,
4. Always develop a safe exit strategy or plan for yourself or your children if they are involved.
5. Avoid blaming yourself and diving into negative self-talk, and
6. Remember to cut off contact completely.

About Us:

The Financial Griot is a play on two words (Finance + Griot) that hold significance in closing the wealth gap while embracing our differences. We tell the stories that others don’t. Stories about growth, opportunity, and moving beyond our interpersonal issues. Specifically, we center on how to become financially literate, incorporating actionable steps and ultimately building generational wealth.

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So there you have it, The Financial Griot, or TFG for short.

Where you can find us:

• Alainta Alcin – Blogger, Travel and Money Enthusiast @alainta_alcin
• Lovely Merdelus – Entrepreneur and Small Business Growth Specialist @lovelymerdelus
• Lawrence Delva-Gonzalez – Federal Auditor, Blogger, and Tax Specialist @theneighborhoodfinanceguy

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