How to Beat Money Trauma and Stop Worshipping Money

Stop Counting Other People’s Money.

Table of Contents

Beating The Need for Stuff and the Urge to Flaunt

Last Friday, I was duped into a coffee meet-up with a financial advisor. Instead of a cold call; like some sort of supervillain, he revealed that this was a cold meetup. The betrayal was indeed real.

The experience ended up burning a significant portion of my day off. I was left with two takeaways.

One, always ensures that there is a firm purpose if someone wants to link up with you. If there isn’t a Return on Investment (ROI), it’s a waste of your time. Once you reach 30+, “me time” becomes a precious commodity. Secondly, always have a firm understanding of what you want because a fool always walks away thinking they got the upper hand on the salesman.

He (financial adviser) asked repeatedly what did I want?

For a lot of people, that’s the weakness in the armor. American society is filled with these moments.

Over the last 40 years, we really excelled at creating a damaged generation.

If you want a fast car or a big house, I can sell you just about anything. If you want to be liked by others, I can sell you that too. And if you live in constant fear, then the illusion of control is an easier sell. The price of purchase is your soul or your mind, whichever you want to part with first since the second is half off.

The Art of the De Beers – Branded Marketing

De Beers Consolidated Mines, LTD. created a multi-billion-dollar industry based on a false claim that “Diamonds are Forever” even though they can be chipped or incinerated into ash.

While I didn’t think it was possible, Coca-Cola, Ltd. which created the sugary replacement to soda otherwise known as “Diet Coke” purchased its main competition water. Dasani is one of over 80 brands of bottled water in the US alone. The UK banned Dasani in 2004, on the basis that Dasani is just regular tap water. So yeah, anyone can be sold a bill of goods if you strike at the right keys.

According to Dr. Brad Klontz, Psy.D and Ted Klontz, Ph.D., in the book Mind Over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders that Threaten Your Financial Health, we generally fall into three money categories: Worshippers, Avoiders, and Relational. While no one particular category spells out doom and gloom; knowing who we are, helps mitigate the self-sabotaging chaos. It’s also important to read the information without falling into a shameful routine. We aren’t wrong. We are merely learning and sometimes that process is hard and it does take time.

I don’t write to condemn anyone. I write to give you perspective, information and the power of choice.

Worshiping At the Altar of Money

Money worshipers are those who are convinced that money will always buy happiness. Typically, they obsess over money. They love to flaunt money.

Their eyes glisten when they hear about an impossible deal or opportunity to flex on others.

Often, they are younger with a lower income, have no understanding of net worth, and are terrible at managing credit card debt.

The research found that money worshipers spend on average 30% more than other people on any given occasion. The price tag dictates the value. In the age of Instagram, it’s all about exclusive locations and unnecessary photo shoots. Ever wonder how they get to travel to all the locations; from Only-fans, GoFund Me, and sponsors?

That was just a lucky guess. O_0

Most common characteristics associated with money worship:

Overspending or Compulsive Buying,

Compulsive Hoarding,

Workaholism, and

Unreasonable Risk-Taking such as Multi-level Marketing Schemes (MLM)

Money and Relationships

Relational money disorders are tangled up with family dynamics, secrets, and dishonesty.

When talking to friends, I often found that money is the sore spot of the conversation. Most would rather talk about death than money. God forbid you to mix talking about money and public speaking together that would be diabolical. Older generations often hide money issues from their kids under the guise of sparring with them. By then, they really mean themselves. Money holds a powerful mysticism. It’s something that can easily spiral out of control. For some that money becomes a tool to secure and maintain love.

The most common characteristics of relational money disorders include:

Financial Infidelity (Keeping secrets from others),

The Enabler and Financial Incest (Spending money on loved ones even when you don’t have the money), and

Pseudo-Eternal, Financial Dependence.

How to Beat Money Trauma. A Guide For those that Worship Money to those who Avoid Money

Passive Aggressive Avoidance

Money avoiders believe they are undeserving of money or that money is bad. The classic line, “money is the root of all evil”. It makes you wonder if the hood is poor, it should be a place akin to Eden, untethered by the constructs of money. Yes, I’m being sarcastic.

Some people subconsciously limit their economic growth as a form of nobility. Wealthy people can be greedy or corrupt, but so can anyone else. Additionally, rich people also give at a high rate than others. Due to the negativity against money, money avoiders sabotage their financial success.

Research shows if you have a tendency to ignore bank statements, have difficulty sticking to a budget, and feel overwhelming angst about others’ beliefs or practices with money, you could have a money avoidance script.

The most common patterns associated with this trait:

Risk Aversion,

Financial Denial,

Underspending or Undersavings/investments, and

Financial Rejection

Money or Your Life

You can assess your own financial health at Dr. Klontz’s website Your Mental Wealth.

If you feel that this hit the spot, please free to run an evaluation on your close friends. It might be fun or you might just find out who you need to cut.